By Moshe Ross: When we stop assigning blame, we find messages for us everywhere.

One morning, a few days ago, I was programming a new answering machine and had it sitting on a chair with the wire stretching across the kitchen entrance. My wife walked in, tripped the wire and sent the phone crashing into the hardwood floor. Now it was entirely dead. So I was angry at her, but then forgot about it.

Simply "forgetting" is not "forgive and forget." That evening I admitted that I'd gotten angry "just because I knew it was really my fault." Anger at her was anger at myself. So my wife said, "It's no one's fault." This is the love with which God loves us, where there is nothing to forgive. Immediately, I realized that the battery could have been knocked loose and fixed it. That's how my karmic ghosts subsided, and I could forgive myself.

We fear that we are separated and unloved, and that we must be to blame. We mask that fear with anger. When we're angry at ourself, we split in two. When we're angry at the Other, we split our pairings into two. Now, if we're led to step back from the whole dream-picture, we have the chance to be freed of our karmic scripts. If we can drop our false sense of separation, then we can drop the blame we feel, and drop the anger. We can love our neighbor and ourself.

How do we gain this precious knowledge? It comes through the present experience of divine Oneness, a single life in which all relationships are embraced. We learn to commune with the source of our life, the source of each individual life. Then we find that everything works in the way of Sacred Relationship Within Oneness.

Our argument and its resolution were the highpoints of my day, good hidden within "bad." The fountainhead of this universe is balanced like this, always unfolding from this symmetry. Sacred Relationship Within Oneness is operating every place in balanced reciprocal ways, in the symbiosis of nature, or in arguments resolved. The receiver of forgiveness helps the giver, automatically, at unseen levels. When we give within the single unified sacred life, my gift moves from one of my pockets to another. With opened eyes, we can see this interchange.

The realization of Sacred Relationship Within Oneness reshapes the elements of our character, when the struggling of the past loses its power. While we are held in this love and peace, we thereby radiate this selfsame love and peace, as my wife was able to do the other morning. Acting from this divine unity, forgiving and loving each other becomes the most wonderful thing we could ever feel — and this is something we are freely giving to each other. We can become stronger, steadier, when we can take such conflicts and discover the way to redeem them. When I admitted my hidden thoughts, my self-respect emerged. We may learn the most when we stop defending our scripts.

When we stop assigning blame, we find messages for us everywhere. These events in our life, "good and bad," can be honored by learning from them. Success can trap us, while a failure or argument which breaks us in the morning, can yet break us free. We enter each new twist of the strands with peace, borne in the arms of love. We would rather avoid difficulties, yet we do not know what we really need for our spiritual ongoing this day. A wise and unseen hand interfaces daily in the rhythm of things. The more we let reality into our experience, the more we search honestly and humbly to resolve the issues of the day, the more everyone is blessed.

In our need, our anguish, our aloneness, we cry out for the compassion which lives at the core of our own being. When we peel back the shell, we discover, this old world is all heart. Peace and love.

Moshe Ross lives and teaches in Ashland. His book, "Really Being With You," is available at Bloomsbury Books. Send your 650-word article about your path to inner peace to Sally McKirgan at innerpeace@q.com.