DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Laurie," is being married soon. Her fiance, "Peter," is a likable young man. He is, however, a sports fanatic who stays glued to the television whenever a game is playing. Laurie is aware of his passion, and because she loves Peter, she doesn't have a problem with it.
They have both now stated that if their team is in the playoffs or the World Series, they want TVs brought in for the guests at the wedding reception.
I am opposed to the idea. This will be a formal wedding and reception at an expensive hotel, and we are paying for it. I think Peter and Laurie should regard the day they take their vows as a once-in-a-lifetime event and forgo the game. Guests who feel compelled to check the score may do so in the bar or in their rooms. At the risk of being rude, I don't want to encourage the sports zeal by bringing in television sets.
Am I hopelessly out of touch and old-fashioned? Please help. This may escalate to a confrontation before the wedding.
— VOICE OF REASON
DEAR V.O.R.: You aren't out of touch or old-fashioned. You are simply not a sports fan. Although you have generously agreed to pay for the reception, I hope you will relent and provide a set to be placed to one side. Remember, it is Laurie and Peter's wedding, and their guests may feel as they do. Imagine your embarrassment if the bride and groom were also in the bar or in their room instead of enjoying their own reception.
P.S. If your daughter is not a committed sports fan, I hope she's a good sport, because every anniversary will be celebrated at a stadium or in front of a TV.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old woman living in the Midwest. I was born here, but have also lived on both coasts. Having lived elsewhere, I have come to realize that the grass really IS greener on the other side.
I was forced to move back here at 17 because of a death in the family. Ever since, my life has been going down the drain. I'm depressed and unhappy. I have nothing here but bad memories.
The only thing keeping me here is my fiance. He loves living close to his friends and family, and he wants to stay. I can't talk him into moving. I am not willing to leave him and he feels the same. But I can't see myself being happy here or his being happy elsewhere. What should I do?
— UNSETTLED IN OHIO
DEAR UNSETTLED: If this is where you met the man you love, then surely not all the memories you have of that city are bad ones. Your unhappiness may stem from the fact that you have been spending too much time looking backward rather than living in the present and looking forward to the future.
Some sessions with a psychologist might help you unload the baggage from your past — but if it doesn't, then my advice is that you take a break and revisit the coasts. If you do, you may decide that the grass is really greener in Ohio. And if not, you'll both be better off.
DEAR ABBY: While it is perfectly acceptable for a man to send flowers to his girlfriend's workplace, what is acceptable for a woman to send to her boyfriend's place of employment?
Please help, Abby!
— STUCK IN CHEYENNE
DEAR STUCK: Because your gift is arriving "in public" (so to speak), send nothing so intimate that you wouldn't want his boss to see. Cookies, fudge or a box of candy would, I am sure, be appreciated — not only by your boyfriend but also his co-workers!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.