DEAR ABBY: After returning from a five-day vacation, my wife and I discovered our air-conditioning system was on the fritz, but we were so tired we went to bed anyway.
I woke up the following morning, grabbed a quick shower and, feeling amorous, gently awakened my wife. I suggested she might want to also shower so we could "get close" before the house got too warm. She agreed.
I waited and waited. She seemed to be taking a very long time. When I peeked in I found her scrubbing the shower floor and walls. I was mighty unhappy that my wife would rather scrub the shower than join me in bed.
She says she did nothing wrong and claims I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. What say you?
— STILL HOT AND BOTHERED IN GEORGIA
DEAR STILL H AND B: Has your mind never wandered? Perhaps your wife saw a speck or two of soap scum as she was finishing her shower — after all, two people had just used it. Rather than becoming upset, you should have gone into the shower to help her get the job done. If you had, things might have worked out differently.
DEAR ABBY: If someone is in an "unhappy" marriage with kids, is it a good idea or bad thing to wait until the kids are adults before considering divorce? The parents of almost everyone I know divorced while they were young. Mine did when I was about 20. But I know many couples who are staying together only for their kids, and I wonder if that's best for everyone. Your thoughts, please.
— "WENDY" IN WASHINGTON
DEAR "WENDY": You have asked a question for which there is no one-size-fits-all answer. It depends on the condition of the marriage and how well both partners can sublimate their frustrations. While staying together for the sake of the kids may seem like an idyllic solution, I have heard from children of dysfunctional couples saying that although their parents didn't fight openly, they could feel the tension between their parents and would have grown up emotionally healthier if their parents had separated.
DEAR ABBY: I have recently started a great new job at a place I love. One day a week I'm unable to be there, so the woman I replaced works that day.
We now share a desk — which I would not normally mind, but she has left all her belongings on the desk and around the workspace. I'm talking about photos, mementoes, hand creams, shoes, books, etc.
As the primary holder of the position, I think I should be able to keep my personal items in the area and put my own photos on the desk. After all, she is there one day a week only.
I wouldn't be opposed to her having a drawer to herself, or a designated area where she can keep her stuff. I don't want to create animosity between us, so how should I go about this?
— DOESN'T DO MONDAYS
DEAR DOESN'T: Because the woman works on the day that you are off, ask your supervisor or office manager to speak to her. Your request seems reasonable and sensible to me, and frankly, I'm surprised that she hasn't realized it and removed most of her things without having to be prompted.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.