DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old daughter, "Melissa," is bisexual. Most girls her age have sleepovers, but my husband says that any girl Melissa likes should be considered the same as a boyfriend, so it is not appropriate for her to spend the night.
I disagree. A girlfriend is not the same — mainly because Melissa won't end up getting pregnant after spending the night with a girl. What do you think?
— MOM IN ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.
DEAR MOM: If Melissa is romantically attracted to a particular girl, your husband has a valid point. However, he is mistaken if he thinks that because Melissa is bisexual she is attracted to EVERY female she meets. That is no more true than the idea that heterosexual individuals are sexually attracted to EVERY member of the opposite sex. When it comes to friendships, most are platonic — and you and your husband should keep that in mind before deciding whether or not to allow your daughter to participate in sleepovers.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Donald," and I are retired. He attends social meetings about four times a month. Food is served at these meetings, and he usually brings part of the meal home. Then he announces that the food is "his" and that I shouldn't eat any.
Abby, his "take-home" will stay in the refrigerator for a day or so, and I have to see it every time I open the door. It often looks delicious — not the kind of thing we usually have for meals at home. Don will then eat it in front of me, and it kills me that he won't share.
I have tried telling my husband that he should share his food, but it throws him into a rage. He claims the food is his because it was part of a meal he didn't finish and brought home to eat.
I'd like your opinion because I consider this cruel. Who's right?
— JAYNE IN MIAMI
DEAR JAYNE: You are, and I can see how your husband's behavior is hard to swallow. His actions are not only selfish but also intimidating. People who won't share food are usually selfish about other things as well.
Allow me to share a bit of advice: On the nights when your husband is socializing, make some plans with some of your women friends. Because you're not getting your treats at home, get them elsewhere.
DEAR ABBY: As the years have passed, my brown hair has slowly been replaced by threads of silver. Friends and relatives have teased me about it. I don't let their remarks bother me, but certain individuals do irritate me with their remarks. So I came up with a comeback to address their comments.
I tell them with a smile that each of my white hairs represents a "seed of wisdom" in my "field" of knowledge. I love seeing their expressions when I say this. Perhaps this will help other seniors. What do you think, Abby?
— R.J.P. IN MAINE
DEAR R.J.P: The decision to color one's hair — or not — is a personal one. Some people prefer to let nature take its course while others would rather "curl up and dye" than show any gray. I respect not only your refusal to be "teased" into doing something you don't want to do, but also that you do it with humor.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.