DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years old and had never been in love until recently. The only problem is, the man I fell for is married.
I knew "Craig" was married when I began talking to him at work. We have never "done" anything but talk, but sometimes that's all it takes. Craig was going through a separation, and we talked every day for hours at a time.
Now he doesn't want to talk at all. He says he needs time and doesn't want anyone to get hurt, but I am already hurt. I try to talk to him, but he doesn't respond. Craig is ignoring me now, and it's very painful. I have already fallen for him, and I am more than willing to wait, but each passing day it gets harder and harder.
Please advise me on what to do. Is love worth all the pain?
— HEARTBROKEN IN OHIO
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I have news for you. Love isn't painful when the love object is the right person and the love is returned. What's painful is rejection.
Your mistake was allowing your attraction to Craig to overwhelm your good sense. He started talking to you when he was separated and vulnerable. But now he has made up his mind to make a go of his marriage. Accept it, and if necessary, find another job. It would be less painful than seeing him every day.
DEAR ABBY: I come from a family of big eaters who are not very health-conscious. They pride themselves on being exceptional cooks, and most of them are overweight.
Being younger and more active, I am thinner than most of my family members. I made a conscious choice to research weight loss and exercise so I could maintain a healthy lifestyle. However, this has caused my family to react with annoyance and hostility. They call me a "food snob" when I warn them about the risks they are taking with their food choices.
When I ask my broth er to drive me to a local track or swimming pool, he acts as if what I'm asking is ridiculous and stupid. What can I do to stop the condescending stares, snide remarks and enmity?
— LOOKING OUT FOR MYSELF IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR LOOKING OUT: You deserve praise for "swimming against the tide" and changing your eating and exercise habits. It isn't easy to do when those around you are indulging in their "vices."
Please realize the path to clean and healthy living is one that each person must take individually. Every time you "warn" your family about their "risky" eating habits, it appears to them that you are being critical, and that is why they're reacting the way they do. Be less "helpful," and they will be less defensive.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our early 50s and starting to spend a lot of time traveling in our RV and staying in RV parks and campgrounds.
My question is about sex. With everyone so close, how do folks handle this?
— TWO FOR THE ROAD
DEAR T FOR THE R: I searched frantically for my manual on sex etiquette in RV communities, but seem to have misplaced it. However, to the best of my recollection, the way to "handle it" would be to find a spot to park your RV some distance away from the other vehicles, keep the windows shut and try to keep your voices down.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.