Jenn Moss: Friend of the earth




Celebrating the Fourth of July in her birthday suit Jennifer Moss wants to express her views.




making a statement during the holiday parade only wearing a hemp G-string, material that Mother Earth made. She's courageous to stand up for what she believes in and not afraid to feel free in her own skin. She's a friend and protector of Planet Earth. Giving awareness to what this planet is worth!




Ryan Cunningham




Coos Bay




Advice for warm weather water use




In this hot weather, we all use more water, whether we drink it up or feed it to our flowers and lawns. Please use water wisely. Water your lawns in the early morning, before 7 a.m. or 8 a.m. or after 7 p.m. in the evening. This will ensure that the water soaks into the ground and feeds the roots to help keep plants and lawns healthy and green.




When grass is watered by a sprinkler in the hot midday sun, it burns them out. Once the water is turned off, the water acts as a magnifying glass, heating up and actually burning grass, green leaves and more delicate shrubs. This is why lawns burn out even when they are watered.




Please water only in the early morning or late evenings.




Chad M. Derosier









Tongue in cheek cop talk




Cop one: "What happened?"




Cop two: "No headlights "




Cop one: "Any drugs, stolen property, or Lincoln's head in the trunk?"




Cop two: "Nah, just some illegal passengers."




Cop one: "Who are they?"




Cop two: "Two 16 year old girls, academically and artistically accomplished, the kind of kids with aspirations the community admires."




Cop one: "You gonna lock 'em up?"




Cop two: "They're too good for that! They're not rapers or knifers after all. I'll just call their dad, he'll explain to them how they shouldn't pick and choose the laws they follow."




Cop one: "Yeah, that could get 'em in real trouble!"




Edward Colbert









The 'Rams' are coming




The Rams are coming! Too late &

they're here.




The Rams (short for Rampagers) are a new breed of mountain biker. They are assaulting our trails. They are widening, rutting and eroding them. They are making new trails alongside the original ones. They imbed loops on embankments, creating more erosion and eyesores.




They can roar down a trail at 20 mph and scare the (censored) out of a slower trail user. They act like they own the trails.




(Not all mountain bikers are Rams. A few bikers even help in repairing trails.)




What can we do to thwart this alien invasion? Organize, that's what!




I am starting up a counter-group, Runners/Hikers Against Trail Scourge, or RHATS.




(Mellow mountain bikers can join and become BRHATS.)




We RHATS can cover the trails like mice, and stymie Rams with our snail-like pace. We can gnaw on their wheels.




Ben Benjamin









Weatherman rails against blackberry abatement




I want to speak my piece one more time about this so-called weed (i.e. blackberry) abatement program and then I'll shut-up. I went to the City Council meeting and sat through a mind-numbing 21/4 hours of subdivision proposals, rebuttals and questions and inevitable utility rate increases and why Dr. No was voting against everything. And then finally I got three minutes to state my case. Hardly enough time to present a trenchant argument. So here's what else I would have said if I had had the time:




If I'm guilty of violating the anti-blackberry ordinance, then the City, the Ashland School District (which owns Bellview and Helman for example), Southern Pacific, The Greenway Committee, Croman, The Y, TID and almost everyone who lives near it, and practically anyone who has undeveloped land (have I missed anybody?) is guilty virtually to infinity.




My blackberries have been described as dense and tall. Well, yeah. They're a hedge and they're dense because I don't want deer, dogs, and most people to have easy access to my front yard. They're tall because I grow 'em that way. Where feasible, I cut out the horizontal canes and leave the vertical ones to make it easier to pick the berries. When you're my age you want to do as little stooping as possible.




They're not a fire danger. After the fruits set they're watered once or twice a week depending on whether TID gives me any water (they tend to shut you off when it gets hot and dry). Why weren't they a hazard during the drought years in the late 80's and early 90's when we were running 10-inch yearly deficits and Howard Prairie went dry? (Remember?)




But now suddenly they are [a fire danger], when we've had normal or above [water levels] for the last eight years, the longest such stretch I've recorded since I've been keeping records.




I think what we have here is a case of selective enforcement where the politically connected or wealthy get a free pass and the little guy gets the shaft. I know this is how it usually works, but somehow I thought Ashland was different. NOT!




Doyle Hirsch




Weatherman