Even more crazy wine questions

I got quite a response the other day on the crazy wine questions in the cellar so I thought I'd write another set of treats for you. Here we go.

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Q: I met a really, really important winemaker a few years back. This guy was Andre Dissot's mother's friend who was the roommate of my third cousin Irene, who was married to this guy's younger brother. He drove a blue Fiat with a crushed left front fender and left to go to work in Bordeaux. Ah, geez I just can't remember his name. Oh, you know, you know, who was that guy? Really famous and stuff.

Me: I really can't...

Him: Oh sure you can! He's really famous!

Me: Um, no I just...

Him: Geez, what kinda wine guy are you?!

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Q: I bought a very delicious red Burgundy and I see you have some here. Wow, these are expensive! Man, I spent at least half of this price for this Burgundy. What a ripoff.

Me: Are you sure this is the same Burgundy?

Him: Yeah, same label and everything. (Looks at wife who nods in agreement.)

Me: Where did you have this wine?

Him: At our honeymoon in France in 1980.

Me: Oh.

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Q: (Phone call just after Christmas) Hey, Lorn, how are you?

Me: May I ask who this is?

Her: Yes, it's Laura.

Me: Yes, ma'am. How might I help you?

Her: Well, I'm not happy with you. No, I am not!

Me: (stunned) Oh, sorry. What's up?

Her: Well, that case of wine you sold me for my husband's Christmas present?

Me: Yes, lovely wines...

Her: Well! I went to give him the case and he opened the box and all of the wines had corks coming out of the tops of the bottles right through the plastic capsules! I mean they were pushing out of the bottle, every one of them! I want my money back right now!

Me: Wow. Laura, so where did you put the wine after you left the Wine Cellar?

Her: I put the case, bottle by bottle, very gently, in my secret hiding place where my husband never looks.

Me: Where's that, Laura?

Her: Right above the oven in a small pantry.

Me: (I am not kidding, this really happened.)

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Q: Hi. So why do I wake up with a terrific headache after consuming red wine?

Me: Well, that's tough to say. Some folks have a real hard time with red wine. It could be what you ate with the wine that caused a reaction. What kind of red wine was it?

Him: I don't know. I got it at the super market. I try to drink red wine every evening. I hear it is really good for you.

Me: (Thinking for a second) How much did you sample?

Him: I dunno, maybe two bottles, I was up late.

Me: Oh.

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Well, there you have the rest of the story. Have fun and see you next week.