February 6, 2004

Downtown

Declining the high of orgasm

Andrew Scot Bolsinger

Marnia Robinson is used to the raised eyebrows, the skeptical sneer and even the direct criticism of her ideas. But she has also seen the quiet relief on the face of someone who seems to understand just what it is she is writing about.

Robinson's life took her across the globe until she recently settled in Ashland, right about the same time her book was being prepared for release. In many ways, the years of experience and study have culminated in bringing her to Ashland, and to a new, possibly very different, chapter of her life.

About the book

The book is entitled "Peace Between the Sheets," and touts a new, or more accurately, a very ancient, form of lovemaking that takes the emphasis off fulfillment or climax and places it on to the interaction and closeness of the partners.

The book is about coming together as people at a higher level than our biological urges.

Simply put, Robinson says orgasms should be avoided.

"Your biology is pushing you around," Robinson says.

At the thought of it, the eyebrows raise. The skepticism washes across the face like an incoming wave. But Robinson, backed with spiritual texts and scientific data, is undeterred.

"I got tired of hitting my head against the brick wall," Robinson said of her early relationships. Once consummated, the relationship would change, the romantic luster would fade, replaced with anger and distance.

You become "addicted to your lover," she says. "When they don't dish out what it is you think you need, you have a lot of problems."

Time in Europe

In those days, Robinson was a high-powered corporate lawyer for a major American business. She was promoted, and moved to the company's office in Europe. But in 1991, when the time came to be relocated back to the states, Robinson decided to give up her career and remain in Europe. She was just beginning to discover the tenets of her book.

She began her own 10-year apprenticeship in the school of relationships and love, determined to "understand what makes us tick," she says. "It really was like getting a Ph.D. in a subject we don't think about in those terms."

The first validation came through the ancient writing of Lao Tse in a book called "Hua Hu Ching." The book talks of sacred sexuality. Lao Tse discovered, Robinson said, that intercourse without climax "improves health, reduces cravings and heals emotions," Robinson says.

The next validation came next. Robinson met and fell in love with man who shared her views. As the relationship progressed, they grew closer together, more comfortable, and more at peace - the direct opposite of Robinson's previous relationships. After they married, Robinson's husband - who is a scientist by training - began to uncover the physical and biological negatives associated with orgasms. Dopamine levels soar and crash, creating a trend very similar to addiction.

So this form of lovemaking helps keep the dopamine in check. Dopamine is a neurochemical that stimulates eating and sex, "two basic things to keep humanity going, breeding and passing along genes." Robinson says.

But too much dopamine is the problem. "We have hijacked this pleasure center," she says, leading to many addictive behaviors.

Backed with scientific support and ancient spiritual truths, Robinson finished the book, which explains the basis for the idea in the first half and a program for lovemaking in the second.

"This is the instructional manual," Robinson says.

What's next?

Robinson's first local talk and book signing is at Bloomsbury Books on Feb. 12. She looks forward to the dialogue, knowing that some eyebrows will raise and some skeptics will challenge her. But again, that's OK with her. She is less concerned with converting people who disagree as she is in extending a help to those troubled with a love life that is not working.

"My goal is not to be some guru who talks about this," Robinson said.

Instead she hopes the book becomes a manual of sexual healing that partners can discover on their own.

Andrew Scot Bolsinger is the editor of the Daily Tidings and the author of the novel "If Pennies Could Talk." Contact him at 482-3456, ext. 3025, or abolsinger@dailytidings.com.